Al Golden and the Coke Machine at Work

[*Awful Llama*]

(04-18-2025, 08:27 AM)coachmcneil71 Wrote: Kicking the "Coke" machine means something entirely different here in Florida.

True, words can often have different meanings.

[*PhilHos*]

(04-18-2025, 10:44 AM)HarleyDog Wrote: What a shit eating comparrison. You should be ashamed. 

A more apt comparison would be like having a lemon party at your organization.

[*Nate (formerly eliminate08)*]

(04-17-2025, 10:31 PM)bfine32 Wrote:

I got stoned just reading that from ole Sammy.

[HarleyDog]

(04-18-2025, 01:55 PM)PhilHos Wrote: A more apt comparison would be like having a lemon party at your organization.

Not gonna lie, I had to look that up. GROSS!

[*PhilHos*]

(04-18-2025, 02:38 PM)HarleyDog Wrote: Not gonna lie, I had to look that up. GROSS!

I'm sorry. You should try some blue waffles; I've heard they help with nausea  

[HarleyDog]

(04-18-2025, 02:49 PM)PhilHos Wrote: I'm sorry. You should try some blue waffles; I've heard they help with nausea  

Al Golden and the Blue Waffles: He could go get some fresh waffles, but he want's to get the best out of the waffles he has, that suck so bad, and are so slow, that they've turned blue. Can the blue waffles be turned into good waffles again? I think AL believes they can with so hard work and determination. Myself, I think some of these waffles can't be saved and should be replaced with fresh waffles. If your so slow, don;t take care of yourself, and are not dedicated to work hard enough to keep you and your waffle in good shape, then it's time to hit the gALnacologist. In other words, find another career. Because once you reach this point, nothing will make your waffles taste good.

[samhain]

(04-18-2025, 01:58 PM)Nate (formerly eliminate08) Wrote: I got stoned just reading that from ole Sammy.

It's not an entirely inaccurate suggestion....

[jj22]

OP do you mind sharing cliffsnotes

[Bilbo Saggins]

(04-18-2025, 08:07 AM)Sled21 Wrote: Which reminds me of Two Girls and a Cup...

Frank Pollack was probably into One Man One Jar with his glass consumption stuff. 

[Bengalstripes9]

FA class this year was beyond weak.

They are trying to sign their top free agents and that's the best they could do with their cap situation.

Need to nail the draft.

[Essex Johnson]

(04-17-2025, 10:12 PM)samhain Wrote: At some point in my life, I drank soda.  I was caffeine dependent before the era of energy drinks and high-test prescriptions like Adderall and  Provigil were more commonplace as productivity enhancers.  Been awhile, as you can tell.  

I also was lazy and a crappy grocery shopper, therefore I ended up wasting a lot of money in vending machines buying soda.  Sometimes Diet Dew.  Sometimes Diet Coke.  maybe the real deal occasionally.  

One evening, I put the money in as I had a hundred times.  I hit the selection button.  Unlike in previous encounters, the once trusty machine before me failed to reciprocate my generosity.  No caffeine and also no buck 25 to boot.  I was pissed and tired.  

A few hours later, a co-worker came into the break room.  He had to wedge his foot in the door to open it.  Why?  Because he had about 7 bottles of various caffeinated beverages in his arms.  Apparently he had the courage to tip the machine (he was a bigger fella) and facilitate and end to the carbonated constipation.  

Why is this being posted on a Bengals forum?  I'll tell you.  You deserve that much.

The Bengals have approached the defense like a backed up pop machine this offseason.  They didn't put money into a different machine to get the things that never came out of their own.  They just want what they've already paid for in draft capital.  They want the first round DB they drafted in Dax Hill to dislodge itself.  They want the first round DE they blew a pick on in Murphy to come rolling out of the open slot.  They'd also like to get the second rounders like CTB and Turner to follow.  Same with DTs like Jackson and Jenkins.  They just can't stand the idea that they aren't getting those dollar bills and quarters out of the vending machine.  They want to rewrite a story that may have already been told.  

Is Al the gifted co-worker that comes along to punch, kick, or tip the machine?  Will an entire defense worth of NFL talent suddenly roll out?  

I feel like this is a really unusual approach for a team to take.  Normally when a coach is fired, a decent part of the unit they coached goes with them to be replaced by the new coach's guys.  This has been minimal so far.  

Was Lou so far gone that he was sitting there willfully dying of thirst rather than giving the machine a sharp kick in the junk?  No idea.

You know how many teams are doing the same with their picks from past two year, very few teams just give up on a pick 4th round and under after a year or two 

[reuben.ahmed]

I had a coworker who had a truck bed full of Dr Pepper (yeah like maybe 100). When he stocked the fridge at work with 8 or so, if you tried to take one, he said those are mine. That is all this story reminded me of.

[Luvnit2]

(04-17-2025, 10:12 PM)samhain Wrote: At some point in my life, I drank soda.  I was caffeine dependent before the era of energy drinks and high-test prescriptions like Adderall and  Provigil were more commonplace as productivity enhancers.  Been awhile, as you can tell.  

I also was lazy and a crappy grocery shopper, therefore I ended up wasting a lot of money in vending machines buying soda.  Sometimes Diet Dew.  Sometimes Diet Coke.  maybe the real deal occasionally.  

One evening, I put the money in as I had a hundred times.  I hit the selection button.  Unlike in previous encounters, the once trusty machine before me failed to reciprocate my generosity.  No caffeine and also no buck 25 to boot.  I was pissed and tired.  

A few hours later, a co-worker came into the break room.  He had to wedge his foot in the door to open it.  Why?  Because he had about 7 bottles of various caffeinated beverages in his arms.  Apparently he had the courage to tip the machine (he was a bigger fella) and facilitate and end to the carbonated constipation.  

Why is this being posted on a Bengals forum?  I'll tell you.  You deserve that much.

The Bengals have approached the defense like a backed up pop machine this offseason.  They didn't put money into a different machine to get the things that never came out of their own.  They just want what they've already paid for in draft capital.  They want the first round DB they drafted in Dax Hill to dislodge itself.  They want the first round DE they blew a pick on in Murphy to come rolling out of the open slot.  They'd also like to get the second rounders like CTB and Turner to follow.  Same with DTs like Jackson and Jenkins.  They just can't stand the idea that they aren't getting those dollar bills and quarters out of the vending machine.  They want to rewrite a story that may have already been told.  

Is Al the gifted co-worker that comes along to punch, kick, or tip the machine?  Will an entire defense worth of NFL talent suddenly roll out?  

I feel like this is a really unusual approach for a team to take.  Normally when a coach is fired, a decent part of the unit they coached goes with them to be replaced by the new coach's guys.  This has been minimal so far.  

Was Lou so far gone that he was sitting there willfully dying of thirst rather than giving the machine a sharp kick in the junk?  No idea.

I understandd why you are pessimistic. Let me give you one huge reason to be optimistic or at a minimum change your thoughts to incomplete as far as defensive talent.

Injuries on the defense in 2024 especially those to young players.

Murphy - knee injury late in TC and missed a lot of games
McKinley - hurt in TC and missed games and he was a rookie
Jenkins hurt and played with one hand for a lot of the season, another rookie
Hill missed time - 3rd DT injured
Rankins missed almost entrie season and 4th DT injured
Hill - injured and missed most of season
Turner - 2nd CB hurt and missed most of season, CB1 and CB2 lost for season
Britt was injured at times
Wilson our best LB was injured and missed end of the season
On offfense, Higgins missed a lot of games
Cappa was one of worst guards in NFL in 2024 and is gone
Both of OT's missed time due to injury, our starting RT missed almost the entire season

Yes, we will always have injuries. But how can we grade the young guys who were injured in 2024?

I think with a good draft and possibly adding one mre guard in FA, we can be a very good team in 2024.

Think back to the end of the year, a Bengal's team decimated by injury made a huuge push and no AFC team wanted them to make the palyoffs.

Maybe, maybe just once fans are wrong and the Bengals have a great plan for 2025.

[lone bengal]

Agree with the OP we wasted a great season from Burrow and fans are ok with this offseason? We’re supposed to be in a superbowl window yet we have so many holes. The 5 game win streak has made fans delusional. Played 1 good QB in Bo Nix a rookie and he had 3 td passes. Rico Dowdle had 131 yards and averaged 7.3 a carry in the Dallas game and we won because they blocked our punt. Beat Will Levis and Dorian Thompson In the other games. I get hoping / relying on a few young guys taking the next step but we’re banking on so many guys that haven’t proven they can play yet. Expecting big things from Dax Hill who’s still learning outside CB and coming of an ACL. Hoping Murphy takes the leap from zero sacks in year two to what 4 sacks in year 3 ? Al Golden look what he did at ND ok that’s college he’s a rookie DC this is the NFL and you still need players. We keep putting faith in new coaches when we still have the same GM the drafting has been the issue. We’re banking on drafting a rookie guard being good right out of the gate when we haven’t drafted a good one in 13 years that’s a solid plan lol. And we have holes at both guards. But we got a new line coach ok ? We blamed Paul Alexander first then Jim Turner then Frank Pollack maybe we just suck at drafting OL dosent matter who the coach is.
I’ll give you some positives loved the Slalton signing and definitely not writing off all the young guys liked what I saw from Jenkins and Mims.

[2MinutesHate]

I think Mike Brown might be the block of cheese that's causing the Bengals' constipation.

He hates paying dead cap and by golly we're gonna get our money's worth out of these guys!

Robert Geathers anyone?

[BengalYankee]